being reunited with that feeling of being alone with nobody truly understanding. back to the point of keeping everything to myself. It's been a long time since I felt like that. Must be an improvement that I've not sunken into complete depression like previously so. Guess this is the painful process I was prepared to face when I decided to let it all go.
"Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."(Philippians 1:6)
It's like I know it's going to happen but I'm in a stage where it's still painful. Jesus did feel sad when he was going to face crucifixion because he was going to feel the pain

Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” 37 He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38 Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

so probably shouldn't be condemning myself for feeling sad. It's really hard to say I completely trust God and therefore whatever happens won't affect my emotions. so urghh.

keep fighting.

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